November 20, 2012 - Stress

Stress

When a family member is infirm, stress levels rise. When family members are in close contact with each other during the illness, everyone feels each others stress. 
Imagine a pond on a still morning. Mirror flat. Reflections as clear as the actual objects being reflected. All it takes is one rock being thrown into the still water and that energy radiates out, forming ripples and waves. That is how our stress seems to be shared these days. It's often transferred very subtly, but it's still there. Sometimes it goes unnoticed until several ripples of stress pile up, but then we feel it. Sometimes it's more like a tsunami, and other times it dissipates before it ever reaches the shore.
Some of those waves were surf-able today. Some of us rode the wave and others had a hard time staying on their boards. I'm not naming anyone, but I will say I had to wipe the salt water out of my eyes more than a few times today! I'm still a little shaky, but I will be okay after we all regroup and get past this. 
Dad is getting agitated because he feels like he's spinning his wheels. He knows he has six weeks of radiation ahead of him and he's more than ready to get it over with. (I can't blame him ... I'd be the same way!!) The radiation machine was broken most of last week and they have been working hard to get it repaired and to get caught up. We did get some good news today. His doctor made his schedule and dad will be receiving his first treatment tomorrow afternoon. Since the machine has been down, they will be working on Thanksgiving day and all weekend, so maybe dad can get a few treatments behind him before Conrad and I go back to California next week. Dad will also be receiving his second target therapy tomorrow, too. (That means 2 down and 4 to go!)
My dad has shown an enormous amount of patience throughout this ordeal. He doesn't ask for much, but he realizes the nurses have several patients they have to care for and things can't always be done immediately. He asked to if he could sit in the recliner today, but at 5:00 when we left, that still hadn't happened. They needed to do a procedure on him and they couldn't do it while he was in the chair, so that had to happen first. The RN told us she knew it was going to happen soon, so I'm hoping they let him get in the recliner shortly after that!
Tomorrow should be interesting. I have told dad all along that I will be there with him when he has his radiation treatments. Not in the room, obviously, but with him before and afterwards. I am planning on staying with him most of the afternoon to make sure he feels okay. I think we are all stressed about the unknown, but also about hoping that the treatments will provide positive results.
We all know this is a long, rocky road, but the fewer of those rocks getting kicked into the pond, the better.
Please keep dad in your prayers for a easy, quick, and effective radiation treatments and targeted therapy. You give us more strength that you can possibly imagine!