November 9, 2012 - It's All About The Smile

It's all about the smile.

We are all aware that no two days in our lives will be the same. It's impossible. Some days are okay. Some are bad. Some are fun. Some are blue. Some are outstanding. Some are emotional. And so on. Today was definitely a day filled with firsts. New parents experience those dailys with their babies. Children experience those days when they go to school. Patients experience days filled with firsts after they wake up from surgeries.

The medical team took dad off the "amnesia" drug yesterday. It has a half-life of 18 hours, which means some of the body's tissues rid themselves of the drug quicker than others, and it's not completely gone from all the tissues for quite a while. One description I've found for 'drug half life' is:
"The half life of a medication is the time it takes for half of the drug to be eliminated from the body. To make it easier to understand, the half-life of a drug is how long it takes for half of it to be eliminated from the bloodstream." With that description it will take a LONG time for dad to be totally off those drugs!

But ... Today was a good day. We didn't get to be with him for long, but we did have quality time. I got there first. 11:00 this morning. I didn't get to go back for a few minutes, but that was okay. There are some things they need to do that are better done in private. So, when I got to his room his nurse was suctioning his lungs again. That way the trach doesn't sound all gurgly when he breathes. She told him I was there and you could see his face light up from across the room. I saw a huge smile plastered across his face and my heart absolutely melted. My daddy is feeling better ... He's smiling!

I went over and stood beside his bed and held his hand. He looked at me and smiled again and tried his darnedest to say hi to me. I leaned over and kissed his cheek and he squeezed my hand. My heart nearly burst with joy! I asked him if he knew where he was. He said sort of. I told him he's in ICU at Blount Memorial Hospital and that he's been there for two weeks. The look on his face was a mixture of shock and disbelief. I told him he had been through a LOT and that I flew in over a week ago. Mom, Bill and Christy have been there much of the time, and that we have all been worried sick about him. Again, he smiled.

During the conversation I told daddy that we had seen his best friend and he had asked about him. I told him there are literally hundreds of people praying for him and asking about him daily. (If y'all could see how many texts I've been getting daily, you'd know what I mean!!) I told dad that his crossword puzzle buddy misses him and to let me know when he's ready to start working them again because we've been saving them for him. He smiled.

He looked tired, so I sat down so he could sleep. Mom came in and he slept the entire time she was there. She and I had planned on going to a Veteran's Day program at Shannondale, so we left for a while. I won't go into detail about the event, but I will say I cried. Very moving. Very emotional. I was totally surrounded by elders who fought in WWII and Vietnam and I couldn't even imagine what all they had gone through in their lives. The hair on the back of my neck stood straight up with awe.

Mom and I went back this afternoon. Family friends were in the waiting room, so we went in to say hello and fill them in on dad's progress. We weren't allowed to go to dad's room yet because they were bathing him and getting rid of his 'grizzly adams' beard. (We finally remembered to bring his shaving kit!!!) We finally got to go see him at 5:00. He was all squeaky clean and ready for 'his girls' as dad's nurse, Ash, refers to us. Again, he smiled.

I spoke first with dad. I asked him if he was comfortable, he said yes. I asked him if he knew where he was, and he said yes. I kissed him and told him he looks awesome ... and he smiled. Then it was mom's turn. She talked to him for a bit and I went out to call Bill so I could fill him in and give mom and dad some privacy. When I came back in we all 'talked' for a bit and dad started yawning. I told him he needs to rest, so we'd leave so he could get some sleep. I kissed his hand, told him I love him ... and, yes ... My dad smiled.

There's just something super special about a dad's smile. Kinda has a way of melting his daughter's heart. Seeing that smile gives me confidence that he's going to fight this horrible cancer and everything will be okay. Seeing that smile reassures me that our family is on an amazing journey filled with love, strength, hope and faith.

Thank you all for being a part of this journey.